My Single Change That Made a Difference: How I Overcame Post-Work Stress Through an Surprising Discovery in the Loft

One often feel like a coiled spring after work. Tension grips my shoulders, my breath turns fast and shallow. Typically, closing my laptop with a thud used to lead to the pop of a cork from a wine bottle, wine poured quickly into a glass, that initial sip marking the end of the workday.

Then, several months back, I came across my now-adult son’s old school recorder up in the loft. Curious, I blew into it, immediately transported back to the days when it drove me crazy – his daily practice a violent assault on my eardrums, the piercing shriek still reverberating through my head hours after he had gone to bed.

But rather than consigning it to the bin, I took it down, together with a beginner’s songbook. As a child, I had no musical talent whatsoever. I took recorder classes in primary school, but never had the opportunity to learn other instruments.

Googling “how to play the recorder”, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and got a fingering guide on paper. I searched “easiest recorder tunes”, I felt excited when I played a recognizable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Yes, it was something your average five-year-old could master before first break, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son questioned my actions (and please could I stop), but I kept going – I liked the way the recorder made me feel. My inability to remember anything meant I had to concentrate on the sheet of paper in front of me, and painstakingly copy the finger positions. My breath calmed, my attention sharpened, and once I’d mastered that first faltering tune, I felt euphoric. I could play an instrument.

Today, after some months, I can “play” other nursery rhymes and a passable Ode to Joy. Yes, my rhythm is off, and I must jot down note names, but for me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it is simply about the pleasure it brings and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which was no doubt music to parents’ ears, yet it made me wistful for my school years, and my son’s childhood.

I make it a habit to play each night after work as my first activity, and in those 20 or so minutes, I am in my own little world. And afterwards, I feel totally energised and uplifted.

My friends find it amusing, but one very wise therapist friend told me I was not only lowering my stress levels, but improving my cognitive skills, like memory and sound processing, which is precious at my age. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s truly an ode to joy.